


Black Humor

by bubbleslayer



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-07
Updated: 2011-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 17:36:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/179397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbleslayer/pseuds/bubbleslayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Torchwood employees need to find humor whereever they can, even in the accidental death of their leader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Humor

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my LiveJournal

Jack came back to life with a quiet gasp. He'd been getting better at coming back quietly, as sometimes that meant he was able to avoid a second death, or worse, the death of one of his team.

He was confused, he couldn't remember what happened. He'd obviously died, but he didn't know how or why. Ianto was going to be livid. He'd promised to keep dying to a minimum since they'd started dating. Although Ianto knew, logically, that Jack would reanimate, he had an irrational fear that one of these times Jack's luck would run out.

He opened his eyes to see the high ceiling of autopsy. Okay, so he was in the hub. He wracked his brain to remember what had happened.

He'd been eating lunch in his office, trying to finish a report for UNIT, when he'd decided to put it aside and take his meal down to the main floor to eat with Ianto. He'd gathered everything and started down the stairs....and that was the last thing he remembered. He'd been on the stairs watching as Ianto took a sip of his coffee, watched his throat work as he swallowed, the tip of his tongue reach out to catch a drop as it ran down the side of the cup....then nothing.

He turned his head and saw Ianto was sitting next to him, looking very unhappy.

"I thought, you were going to keep this to a minimum, Sir.

Jack winced at the 'Sir.' Ianto reserved that title for special occasions these days.

"Uh, I'm sorry? Honestly, I have no idea what happened. I was on the steps and then..."

He raised his eyebrows to indicate that Ianto should fill in the blanks.

Ianto took a breath, but before he could speak Jack heard a decidedly Owen-like snicker from behind him.

The snicker turned into a guffaw and was soon joined by Tosh's giggle and Gwen's throaty chuckle. Ianto held his composure a few seconds longer than the rest, but was soon doubled over in his chair, laughing so hard he didn't seem to be breathing.

Jack, worried that some alien version of laughing gas had been released into the hub, jumped up and looked at the others. They were all seated on the upper level, legs through the railing, holding on to each other as they laughed.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the glass of one of the storage cabinets. He was pale, the kind of pale he got when he'd died of blood loss. There was a stain on his light blue shirt, from his collar, across his shoulder, and down his front. It had once been bright red he was sure, but was not darkening to brown. So, a neck wound, probably his carotid artery. The darkening of the blood let him know it'd been a while since he'd died, blood loss always took awhile to come back from he'd found over the years.

He looked at his team again, they had started to compose themselves, but his look seemed to set them off again.

"What the hell is so damn funny?"

Owen just waived a hand at him, unable to speak he was laughing so hard.

Jack turned to Ianto, sure that his lover would be able to explain things.

Ianto started to speak, but he snorted though his nose, which set him, and the others, off into new heights of hilarity.

Jack really didn't like this. He loved a joke as much as the next guy, maybe more so, and was even okay with being the butt of the joke. But he didn't like not even knowing what the joke was.

Ianto picked something up off the tray next to him, gestured to Jack's neck, and then held it out to him. Jack took it and turned it over pensively. It was black, plastic, and covered in blood. Ah, this must be what had done him in. He looked hard at the item and finally got the joke. He let out a loud laugh and took Ianto in his arms.

"Honestly, I think that's a first. Gotta write that down somewhere. I've died so many times, but I don't think I've ever died by spork before...."

The laughter continued for several more minutes before they all wandered away, back to their duties. All of them a little bit lighter for the laughing.

 

end


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